You are the ||darkness|| I fear the most (Rhianna)

[penguin]

She was afraid. There was no other arrangement of letters to describe her emotions apart from synonyms of the word 'afraid'. Her shadow danced tauntingly in front of her dainty silver smoky black sabino body, the dark contrast against the soil she walked upon resulting in a hole-like illusion. With every stride she took she felt as though she was about to fall, and if that happened she would never spot. Never. A terrified snort escaped her flared nostrils as the mare stumbled over a loose rock, her head shooting straight up into the air as she sought for balance. Wildly, her eyes rolled to see what was on the floor, what had caused her sudden panic. Upon spotting the rock her body calmed. It was a stone. Nothing to be frightened about. Exhaling shakily, brown eyes moved to observe the terrain rolling out before her as far as the eye could see. From what she could tell, it was a pretty flat land. There were no noticeable inclines at any rate. Many pine trees grew in sporadic locations, some clumped together and others in a much more sparse layout. They had dark, disfigured shapes on the ground around them and having not seen the light of day very well for so long, Milah couldn't bring herself to be wise and stick to them. There was something physically preventing her from making such a motion. Ears laying back against her skull, she picked up her pace to a jog in the hope that she would cover more land equally as quietly. Unable to look back, she did not want to find herself caught once more. How he'd hurt her for her crime! Heartbeat increasing in rapidity the anxiety-filled lass lengthened the ground covered with each of her strides.

Milah knew she needed to calm down but this territory was unfamiliar to her. Ever since he had got her, she'd been kept in a small cave like area There was shelter for her to sleep in, and the strange formation of the mountains meant that there was an area of open land. It wasn't big by any means, but she could graze through most of the year and have a bit of a canter around. Sometimes the grassy ground was all she had to eat but other times she snuck out to eat the vegetation out the front of the cave; if she was careful about it no one knew. If she dared leave and her actions were realised she was punished. Over time she grew to accept her fate but she was sick of it now. Besides, the cruel stag that did this to her hadn't been around much of late, and whenever the blasted brute did come to her, he reeked of another mare. But whilst he wasn't as fussed about her there was a chance she could free herself from this horrible experience. Thus, seizing the opportunity, the five year old was attempting to escape. However the problem was that she didn't know her way around these lands and there was no one to guide her. She doubted anyone knew she even existed, other than him of course. Her parents lived not on these lands any more, and she was very young when she was claimed. There had been little time to make friends. Letting her muscles relax she began to prance skittishly forwards once more. The white parts of her coat were harder to see in the direct sunlight overhead but the black hairs made her visible, her silhouette a clear against the blue sky in the horizon that would be like a background to anyone who gazed upon the scene from behind. The two colours of Milah's coat together would somewhat camouflage her, but not well. Only those unused to the blinding sun that could sometimes occur in this region would have difficulty spotting her sabino frame.

The mare's head hung low to the ground. Already she was tired. There hadn't been much room for her to keep muscle condition as well as she liked, nor had she had the chance to keep her fitness up. Now that she was travelling she found herself struggling a little for air. Her chest felt tight though she was long since used to the atmosphere. Maybe it was because of the shallow breathing she experienced as her anxiety shot sky high, or maybe it was because her fitness had deteriorated much more than she thought. All Milah knew was that is was unfortunate and there was nothing she could do about it. However her body was not in approval of her stubborn attitude. She had not progressed as far as she had hoped, only a few miles, when her coat was slick with sweat. Again, this was more than likely due to her stress. If she didn't get out of here now...

Caught up in her chaotic notions, a cloud of dust rose up into the air as a squeal shattered the semi-silence along with the sound of hooves scrapping on the unstable terrain, the noise resounding far and wide. The ground had literally fallen away before her. She was on a cliff! Her chest rose and fell, scared out of her right mind as she hesitantly looked down to the next floor that was very, very far away. On the way down there were jagged bits of cliff face stabbing out, some of them looking like they would do quite a bit of damage. Helplessly, the mare's brown eyes followed the edge that seemed not to end. This was a dead end! Rearing up, the young lass struck the air with as much force as she could muster, channelling all her frustration into the movement. Every fibre in her body stood to attention. If this was a dead end then she would be easily found. Gritting her teeth she gathered the courage to turn and look behind her upon landing. Her tail swished at her sides with anger, although this anger stemmed directly from her fear. She was annoyed at letting herself get into this mess, and was ashamed to admit even to herself that was fearful. Doubtlessly it was a sign of weakness to be afraid after years of living with a melancholy truth. With a final glance and silent prayer, the essa turned around to face back the way she came. Scanning the horizon, the warmblood waited for the familiar, unwelcome figure that would surely arrive soon. There was no where for her to go.

[rhianna4554]

Arcarian had fallen silent again leaving me with no company but my own. I found it unsettling, unnerving and…lonely. I missed my family, although I would never admit it to a stranger, and the fact that I had not fathered a single child yet only strengthened the longing. The death of my family had changed me for the worst over the years so a lot of the time I hardly knew who I was anymore. My soul was too blackened and foreign to me after the years of retreating from the world…after years of not caring sometimes I had hurt others in the quest of once more forming some kind of family. Perhaps I was just too much of a monster now for most mares to want to settle down with. Then again I wasn’t sure I knew the way back to who I had been before. A sigh broke free as the depressing thoughts churned through my tormented mind those damn insecurities once more playing havoc. The fact that Saeren had chosen to disappear…the fact that she had chosen to abandon me did not help. I had made it clear to her that I was her king but she had refused to obey. It was an act of disobedience that I had promised myself I would allow to go unpunished again. Milah had happened to stumble across me at the worst possible time.

I had been brutal with her using her as a punch bag for my anger. I knew she feared me know and hate me but after having kept her cooped up away from another living thing I wasn’t surprised. Then again her personal feelings were none of my concern when I had a family to rebuild and a mare to track down. Once more I had failed to find Saeren today something which had already put me into a slightly foul mood and so I had without a second thought set out for the one mare I still had claim on. I had pushed myself during the journey eager to satisfy my needs and just…vent out my frustrations. Of course when I arrived my smokey black sabino pelt covered in sweat Milah had disappeared. Furious I had cursed myself for leaving her along longer than usual…for letting my only chance of creating a family escape. Steeling myself for the bloodshed I knew that would probably come I had set out again hastily tracking that latest source of my bitterness. I didn’t have to follow her lingering scent too closely since I know every inch of Aracarian and judging by her direction it was all too obvious to me that Milah was probably going to find herself trapped on the cliff with nowhere to go. When splits through the silence I push on strides extending as fly across the uneven ground with a sure footedness that come from living in this place all your life. When I spot Milah eventually my suspicion is confirmed for there she is trapped on the cliff edge….and expecting me by the looks of it. Well she is a fool if she even considered the mere possibility that I would let her slip away.

Finding some satisfaction in the fact that I have her right where I want her again I slow my pace down wanting to draw out any fear she is feeling. As I reduce he distance step by step I note how much muscles she has managed to lose something which will not do if she is going to be carrying my spawn. Which she will. The last few meters are covered in a lazy walk before I come to a standstill just outside of reaching distance. Head tilting a little I survey her with cold eyes although a glint of anger remains in them. “Milah…Milah….Milah…I would have thought you would have learnt the lesson by now.” The words come out in a soft mummer my body easing closer to her as a ghost of a smile forms. I want her unsuspecting when I snap…I want her lulled into a false sense of security. “I was most….disappointed to find that you had taken it upon yourself to explore alone. You could have so easily had a…accident and injured yourself love.” Eyes softening I throw in a little warmth to those gently spoken words fake concern creeping into my midnight coloured orbs. Moving in again I let my pelt brush against hers muzzle reaching into lightly caress her neck desire stirring as I inhale her scent. “I’m sure there are better things for us to do instead of this constant game of cat and mouse…" The words are almost whispered low enough for my velvety voice to have a seductive edge to it....although i'm not sure this one will give in willingly. I'll just have to use force if she doesn't submit to my desire.

OOC: okay he is going to want to cover her with it being spring and all xD

[penguin]

Slowly and painfully, time passed by. It felt like an eternity before an oh so familiar and panic-inducing odour reached her sensitive nose but in reality it would only have been quarter of an hour or so at most. Silently she groaned, knowing and somewhat accepting what would doubtlessly follow when the wicked beast reached her. What made it worse was the feeling that if her condition was better she would have been physically capable of finding another way out of this hell hole. A frustrated snort freed itself. This was his fault. Her pathetic lifestyle was completely down to him. Because of his sinful ways she was scared of the dark, scared of stallions and loathing of herself. Sometimes his beatings felt like the will of some deity that was angry with her for being so useless, a waste of space and being so disrespectful of the life she had been granted. What had she become? As she waited her dull, brown eyes scanned the horizon, some part of her still desperately seeking an alternative. There was no way any god would be so cruel as to make her lead a life like this. No test would be so impossible for a mere mortal mare. In her times of need Milah would often consider the possibility of a higher power, but she didn't believe in it at all. Thinking as if there was one meant that she could stare at herself in disgust and feel a little bit better about what was going on when she was being thrown about in one of his tantrums. A defeated sigh left her parted lips, her breathing fairly quick and shallow but slowing a little now that she was not going anywhere. Somehow she knew this time her punishment would be different. Sure she had been rude to him before, and a little disobedient, but never had she tried something as daring as this. To run away from him... There was no shred of uncertainty in her tormented mind that he was utterly furious and would take it out on her. Her muscles were tense beneath her damp coat, which was starting to dry a little in the brilliant yellow glow heating where she stood, and there was no life in her eyes. She was all but a shadow of her former self. It had been many moons since she had resisted him and it was purely an act of wild desperation to not be so lonely emotionally and physically that she did so now.

As the shape of an equine emerged from the distorted horizon her head lowered automatically, more out of resignation than of submission. His movements at first were fast but then he decreased his gait and she felt a new surge of hatred pour forth. Realising he was trying to make her suffer caused her tension to build up, and her coiled muscles meant that she was ready to flee at a moments notice... not that she would actually get very far. He was in superb condition whereas she was far from it. There was no way she would be able to out run him now. Brown eyes danced back to the cliff behind her and her ears flickered frustratedly. Alas, she was too much of a coward (or too brave, depending on the point of view) to join her family in the skies above, if that was where she'd end up by some miracle. When she looked back towards the menacing brute he was much closer, his features much more visible. He did not look happy. How could they look so similar and yet be so different? Their pelts were both silver smoky black sabinos. Sure he had additional white on him, but their body type wasn't that varied either. It made her sick to be similar to him in any way and she couldn't help but wonder why he didn't find some prettier mare to claim and leave her, Milah, alone. As soon as she contemplated the notion she felt guilty. Milah could never wish this life upon anyone. No, she had to face it herself. That didn't make her any less frightened of course. As he stopped in front of her, the young lass kept her eyes averted away from his towering body. Slamming her ears against her skull, she tried to ignore the dangerous tone she had grown to despise. To another it was harmless but this essa knew only too well he was riled up inside. There no way in this world that he was calm and collected, not after she had outright disobeyed an order to stay where she was. To the young mare it felt as though her skin was crawling as he spoke her name thrice. She was repulsed by him, by his actions. Seeing his long legs starting to carry him closer the terrified mare stepped back, her brave façade slipping a little as her hoof met only air and a few rocks fell freely from the edge of the cliff she had just been putting her weight on. Hastily bringing her hind leg back onto stable and solid ground, she listened irritably to his dialogue. The story he created... Well, the female knew that the stag wasn't as idiotic to believe she'd gone exploring. As naive and dim as she sometimes pretended to be, there was no mistake. His frequent pauses did little to help her anxiety. "Don't call me 'love'." her tone was surprisingly cold and harsh as she all but spat the words out, though it was one that she had reserved for him many a times. As of late she hadn't used it, but her recent bid for freedom had brought some of her feisty attitude back even if she was petrified of him and this whole situation.

Disturbed by his very touch, Milah pranced laterally away from him, trying to put distance between them as she lifted her gaze for the first time to glare ferociously at him. His words infuriated her. How dare he propose such a thing? She absolutely abhorred him. His very presence brought her misery! And yet he thought she would what, willingly carry a demonic child of his? As much as she loved foals there was no way she'd mentally be able to cope giving birth to one of his. If she was impregnated by him then she wouldn't be able to love it. Not only would the kid act as a permanent reminder of the self-centred stallion, but she wouldn't be able to leave. The brute before her would never let her depart from these dreadful lands with his colt or filly, thus Milah would have to stay. It wasn't like it would be able to nurse from their sire. Her disgust in him was visible in her brown orbs, and a spark of rebellion seem to form once more. "Let me go Diego. You are nothing but a coward, too afraid to deal with your own emotions. So she left you. Get over it and move on. Clinging to the past won't help you, nor will taking it out on me again. Get it into your thick skull that nobody wants to be near you whilst you're acting like Satan, or any other time for that matter." Her tongue lashed the syllables out, her voice icy and venomous where it was once melodic and sweet when they first met. Turning slightly she backed away from him, taking care to make sure she was not about to head off of the cliff unintentionally. Knowing that her spiteful words wouldn't help matters didn't really affect her. She felt mildly triumphant just for standing up for herself and not letting him have his way with her without showing resistance.

OOC: Lol he can get as rough as you like xD Milah won't take it lying down though!

[rhianna4554]

The fear was practically dripping off of her unmistakable in the way that it made the air heavier. It was nothing new to me. I didn’t miss the way she kept her gaze averted or how her ears flipped back as soon as I started to speak her skin flinching as I repeated her name several times. Mentally I curse her as an idiot when she steps back as I close in the pathetic brave façade of hers slipping when her hind hoof only meets air. Her cold harsh rebuke does not bother me…it never had which sometimes just made me wonder why she had ever bothered using it after the first couple of times. What was the point when it drew no response from me? A sensible mare would simply hold her tongue, do as she was told ad then in return maybe she would be granted more freedom. Milah here simply didn’t seem to get it. She hated me and blamed me for all her misuse but in part this very creature before me was partly to blame for resisting had been what had provoked my anger on many occasions...after all she didn’t seem to know how to submit which led to the wrong thing being said or her physically fighting back. My touch has her attempting to put some distance between us her gaze lifting at last due to my suggestion. The ferocity in her gaze is met with emotionless orbs my body easing a step or two after her as the slightest of dark smiles forms. The disgust is there I her eyes as she glares at me no doubt realizing that I would never allow her out of my mere sight should she fall pregnant with my spawn. Which she will willing or not. I know that a tantrum is about to come before the words even start to flow for that silly rebellious glint forms in her eyes something which I thought I had beaten out of her by now. Apparently not and oh how pathetic her rant sounds. She is a silly girl for assuming that a mere mare is the cause of my behaviour…sure a mare had been the cause of my latest frustrations but only because she had defied me not because I held any romantic attachments to her. She assumes too much for someone who has never bothered to consider why I act as I do. As much as I hate to admit it I am a lonely creature for I have no family and family has always been everything to my bloodline. At least she is wise enough to back away when her words have died down.

I follow as always my midnight orbs alight with barely contained fury ears slipping back as I bare my teeth. “You know nothing Milah….you never have when it comes to me. Oh a mare has made me less patient indeed but simply for defying me. I care not for romantic attachments when your gender is simply breeding stock and pawns to me. Bearing my spawn is all you are good for and that is all you will do whether I have to force myself on you or not. I will take you every single night for however long I must until my child is growing within you. If I have to be like Satan in order to rebuild my family then so be it.” The words are cold a harsh edge to them as one by one they pass through my kissers. Lacking the desire to hear any more words from her I spring forwards lunging for her shoulder so I may bite down on flesh and keep her pinned against the cliff edge. It should make mounting easier….but then again I quite like a chase. For a mere second I dance backwards only to once more rush forwards teeth snapping at her hide rationality thrown to the wind as I seek to have her trembling in utter terror. Teeth snap at her rump before I dance behind her front legs raising as my towering frame rises above hers briefly only to settle on her. I only half mount teeth clamping down on her neck as I seek to taunt her. Eventually however I do the deed my treatment towards her far from gentle…far from courteous and I don’t give a damn. With my desire satisfied I slip off of her satisfaction the cause of my smirk the anger gone from the eyes that survey her now. “You will not leave my side now Milah..”

[penguin]

It bugged Milah somewhat that her cold words had no effect on him. They never had done but she wanted to see some emotions in him other than anger and desire. Some part of her sincerely believed that he was not a monster even if the evidence she'd witnessed suggested otherwise. So far she had seen no chink in his armour, no way to soften him. Not that she tried to. His anger would one day consume him and she planned to be there when it did. With every fibre in her body she despised this brute. When he followed her as she retreated she felt a familiar feeling of dread. His smile... well that wasn't a good sign to say the least. He never smiled out of anything other than cruelty. So although his grin was small, it was dark and the sabino mare did not miss it. The lass would spot it a mile off and turn the other way if she had the chance. But she didn't. There was no where for her to run. He seemed annoyed by her words but more in the sense that he wished her to shut up. This in itself brought fear to Milah's heart because she knew as soon as she had spoken that she had not just poked the dragon with a stick, but she had stuck around to watch it wake. He was like a time bomb in her eyes. She never knew quite when he was going to explode in a fit of rage but she knew she had crossed the line this time. And there was no going back.

The irate mood that the stag was feeling was evident in his eyes that the essa dared to meet, her own anger revealed in her brown orbs. Of course the difference being that Milah is not typically violent whereas Diego was already baring his teeth as though he was some vicious hound. She was quite surprised when he responded to her words. He talked more about himself in those few sentences than he ever had done before. The small insight that she got was something for her to mull over at least. So there had been a mare. Wait, what? Her mind was in shock for a few moments. If he was taking it out on her either this mare had actually managed to get away from him, which the black lass doubted, or he'd let her go unpunished. So he did have a heart! It felt like a minute victory but it was a bitter one because whatever restraint he used not to attack that other mare, he certainly wasn't applying the same control around her. As her mind caught up with the rest of what he said she went through a series of emotions. At first she was offended, then scared but in the end she felt nothing but pity for him. He seemed to genuinely believe in every syllable that he spoke. Milah tried to conceal her pity but she wasn't sure she was successful. Nevertheless she was irked. "Then talk to me! Talk to me rather than beat me and I might be less resistant you idiot!" The heated words she got out were all that were possible in the time he gave her to respond. Her insult wasn't heartfelt, more playful like when a friend did something stupid. You don't really mean it in an offensive way, but it conveyed how you felt about what they did like they had a better choice. She had no time to continue speaking for as she drew breath a black blur catapulted towards her.

Captured off guard she reared up in defence her front hooves striking out. She didn't care what she hit so long as they made contact with him. Her rear was not high however as he had hold of her shoulder. In an attempt to escape she turned her body sideways, pulling free of him as he released her. Luckily no blood had been drawn but it still ached. She bolted forwards a few strides before she felt his teeth sinking into her once more. Not wanting any more injuries to be sustained she ceased her movements away from from him and again turned, trying to avoid his white needles. Milah was more scared of the height, for she was now facing over the cliff edge, than she was of him. His abuse was something she was more than used to. What did it matter to her if he extended it to covering her? They said some pleasure was drawn even if it was unwelcome.

Her legs rearranged themselves as his weight became known on her back. Squirming she bucked a little but he was bigger and heavier than her, and she was not exactly at the peak of her strength. She stopped the movements in her neck as his mouth wrapped around it but only for a moment. As he mounted her fully she turned her cranium to tenderly nudge his leg. The action was completely out of the ordinary on the part of Milah but she couldn't help it. If she was to conceive this demon's foal she needed some illusion of affection between the two of them. She did not want her foal born out of pure hatred. Attempting to convince herself that his roughness was out of passion she turned her frame as he slid off of her, moving away from the side of the cliff but still facing the stallion. At least he wasn't as furious any more though his smirk was threatening to push Milah over the edge. "You just don't get it do you Diego? If you stopped treating me like a piece of meat then I would choose to stand by your side and we wouldn't have this game of cat and mouse as you called it. If you treated me more as an equal then I would have been carrying your foal weeks ago. You don't need to act like Satan to be a father. You need to act as though you have a heart, which you do. You just choose not to show it."